Hello, I’m Abigail MacEwan: grateful abuse Survivor, writer and vita amans
Welcome to my website; a space dedicated to discussion of intimate partner abuse: its ubiquity, its complexity and its difficulty to leave.
Most of us know at least one woman trapped in an abusive partnership. She might be an old high-school chum, a sister, a ni
Hello, I’m Abigail MacEwan: grateful abuse Survivor, writer and vita amans
Welcome to my website; a space dedicated to discussion of intimate partner abuse: its ubiquity, its complexity and its difficulty to leave.
Most of us know at least one woman trapped in an abusive partnership. She might be an old high-school chum, a sister, a niece, or a long-time colleague. Helpless, we’ve watched the sparkle depart from her eyes as she becomes more and more managed by her abuser; the growing terror conveyed by her body language over ‘infractions’ which seem miniscule to us on the outside. Why doesn’t she just leave the tyrant? Why does she remain so complacent in the face of such control?
Perhaps the abused woman is you. Perhaps you’ve wished to go before God with your complaints; your partner’s gaslighting and manipulation straining you to your very core. If only you could somehow extricate yourself from him without losing too much! If only you could stop caring what he thinks!
Since leaving my husband, I’ve met many women mired in similar situations; the issues always the same: the incredible obstacles to leaving an abuser; the courage required to take those first few steps away.
Research tells us that abused women return their partners an average of seven times before finally and successfully leaving them; that even after jail time (for him) and extensive counseling (for her), the glue of such bonds can draw a woman right back into the abuse should she not remain extremely vigilant.
I am here to tell you that you, your friend or your loved one are not alone; that the situation is not insurmountable and that escape IS possible through a few tried and true methods: namely identification of coercive control and access to community supports. Sometimes it can take a few months, sometimes years, but it is always worthwhile to help a woman (or yourself) in need!
The following webpages are devoted to discussing the complexity of intimate partner abuse in order to foster empathy, understanding, and movement toward change.
Please do not leave this website before checking out my story in the About section. An understanding of these issues could be the difference between bondage and freedom; even life and death in some cases.
While my bio outlines my credibility (thirteen years with a tyrannous drug-addicted pimp I met at church), my blog seeks to shed light upon tactics like gaslighting, coercive control, trauma-bonding and the experience of being prostituted.
Please feel free to post any questions or comments you might have in my blog sections, and/or join me on social media. I am an avid advocate of the Nordic Model of Prostitution assumed by Canada’s federal government in 2014, as well as a passionate volunteer at my local women’s shelter and sexual assault center.
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